Today was a day from hell. I came in early as I usually do on Wednesdays and Thursdays and though I've told her repeatedly not to, in comes Mattie during my only 2 quiet hours of my work week. I try to move on and I'm sitting at my desk reading an investigation and return it to Jo-ann who I've mentioned before on here. They call her crazy Jo-ann but in truth she's anything but. To say she beats to her own drum is an understatement and her story is a sad one of serious abuse. Physical and sexual but I'll leave it at that for the sake of her own privacy though of course her name has been changed. So Jo-ann is in an ultra wacky argumentative mood and debating about who she is willing to share her notes with and other such nonsense...she's snappy which is unusual for her. A short while later she comes to my office to apologize and explain she is in the process of miscarrying...what?...miscarrying...yup...at work and she's acting like it's nothing and trying to finish up several investigations that she's working on. She explains she didn't tell me she was pregnant as she didn't want to upset me considering my situation and all the shit happening with my father. I try to be supportive and tell her next time just tell me. She and I were trying to get pregnant at the same time though she was going the traditional root...well, traditional for Jo-ann...she was trying with her one boyfriend last year and then when she switched boyfriends began trying with him...unbeknownst to him of course. She's 42 btw.... So she's sitting in my office in super pain and I'm flooded with questions from other coworkers as I try to listen to her and read at the same time. Finally it's 9 and Mattie comes to sit inside the office...she sits at another desk until 9 as this is the compromise for coming in before she's technically working... It sounds fucked up of me and maybe it is but I get 2 hours of quiet alone time to do work and believe me I need it so as fucked up as it is...shit happens..
The day continues...I'm reading like a fiend in my office...trying to get shit done when in comes this crazy ass biotch Brenda. Now if you want to meet crazy, Brenda is your gal...mood swings and paranoia galore. Aside from this she's the slowest gal in the North....my entire team will be hauling ass and she's in her office polishing her nails or whatever it is she does....it pisses everyone off and though I've tried to get her to haul ass and she's been confronted about her productivity by coworkers...shit doesn't seem to move her. So she comes to my office and says she's changing her plan for time off...her and her husband both work with me and yes, I'm both of their bosses...fun fun. I give her the time slips and she makes the changes though I explain you need to put the new times on a new slip. She looks at me sideways...typical and I should have known. She says okay but in that slow way people do when they're confused....ohhkaaayy.... twisting her lips...she leaves my office comes back in with the slips and says, Not to be obnoxious but if you're worried about seniority nobody in this department has more seniority then me and proceeds to flick the forms on my desk...At this point other people walk in and there's Mattie with her mouth in an O at the audacity of the chick... Long story short after people leave my office I go and confront her and doesn't the bitch tear me a new asshole? Tells me I'm mean, that I walk around with my chest puffed out, and that I'm abusive..on and on she goes not letting me speak at all...total bully tactic... Now, hold up here I'm thinking... I barely even speak to my staff because they're so abusive it's not worth my mental health. I go back and forth with her and finally have to walk away. I go speak to the director who yesses me to death and I'm sure will take Brenda's side as soon as she hauls ass over there and do everything in my power to not let this chick rent space in my head for the rest of the day. I write an account of what happened in a file folder on my desktop...saved along with other situations where these people find it completely appropriate to tell of their boss...and hey I did it once too, told off my boss so who the fuck am I...it was for a completely different and 1000% more serious reason but it is what it is and my boss has hated me since...oh well.
There are too many days ruined by my coworker and it's really my fault because I let it get to me. It hurts me, they hurt me, though today, thankfully, it didn't hurt as much as she tried to say that I'm mean and I know this isn't true..not even a little bit...she was grasping.
Anyhow, that was the day. Jo-ann getting pregnant hurt only a teeny bit because I like her so much. She wouldn't hurt a fly though she really is different than anybody else I know.. I worry about having a baby...worry worry worry...like some crazed obsessive..but there it is...it's like my life is in limbo waiting for the baby that might never come...waiting and waiting and waiting..drowning in this life that at times seems pointlessly painful.
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