So as I explained, I got into a fight with the sib and walked out feeling crazy as hell. Couldn't sleep that night and all the next day at work was obsessing a bit over the things they said and I thought to myself, "If I were crazy would I really know it"? I know crazy...worked with the mentally ill a huge part of my adult life and alot of them don't know they're off, so why not me? So I go see the shrink lady last night...who better to ask if you were off your rocker...and she tells me, "Gem, the reason you feel crazy after talking to your sib is because they are bipolar...they're in a state of mania...you don't see that?"...and I explain that my sib presents very well, it doesn't seem like they're manic..they seem so in control and she went on to explain this is the reason for the no shows and then the overcompensating, the taking charge and then the inability to do anything, and finally, finally, she said what I knew all along......Her need to imply to people that there is money is a form of Grandiosity....I knew it!!!!! I kept telling Kay that my sib was posturing for lack of a more precise way to name what they were doing...She said I'm not crazy and basically said the reason I snap people's heads off or part of the reason besides that I'm a pain in the fucking ass, is that I'm frustrated by the mental illness, dementia, and retardation around me...voila my friends, chick says I'm not crazy...I'm not sure if she's right but I'll take it.
Anyhow, aside from that we talked about the baby thing. She thought it was good that I wasn't doing anything until December as it gave me time to deal with this. She brought up the topic of adoption and listen, I'm all for it, but please let me have one of my own first...
So my hands are killing me but I'd like to write more ...unfortunately..hands win.
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