A few days ago I had written a post about my siblings and never finished it. In retrospect I'm glad as it was really a blame fest. The truth is we're not getting along and I have to take some responsibility for that. I'm confrontational and though I can rationalize why, the healthy me wouldn't need to and would let things go. I wouldn't find a need to question my siblings even when they're doing something stupid as in reality how much does it really matter to me personally? Not much...but it bothers me...but then again, I have to get over it. It's all shit with my father and in truth I haven't been tight with him in years and though I feel my siblings are making major financial errors with his money, they are closer to him and they aren't terminal decisions. So I'm writing this post to try and let it go. We have a meeting Sunday and I don't want to go in defensive.
Today, after an email from my sibling regarding hiring a "live-in" who will only do nights and be paid (yes, that would be a place to live rent free and all you have to do is the night shift and get paid on top of free rent), I called my sibling. Aside from telling them how foolish this was I also confronted them on there and my other siblings behavior towards me this past weekend (a put-down fest). Well, though I don't know if that was the right venue to address it in, it was the truth and I regret it only a little. My regret is letting them rent space in my head for free.
So that's it, my goal, to just let it all go...not confront, not try to take any control, not be defensive, not give such a big shit about what they do, say, think, et cetera.
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