Trudging along

I write less and less it seems mostly because what the fuck is there to write about? I have my appointment next month and I'm hoping she takes my case but I've read negative reviews about this doctor's bedside manner so I'm not hoping for much. One of the other girls who started trying around the same time with me is pregnant. She did it the old fashion way. So strange.  She started trying and was using my same guy. She met someone on match.com and actually talked to me about it asking me what she should do. I told her fuck the sperm, go for the guy because really, truthfully, that's really what most people want; the whole enchilada..not just part of it..and she did. She ended up marrying the dude maybe 2 months ago and voila, just like that, she is pregnant. Yup, just like that...just like it's supposed to happen. The whole enchilada. And yes, I had to block her shit from my Facebook page. I just can't read it.

Yesterday, my coworker Jill brought her baby in. The kid is about 1 1/2 or something like that and an absolute doll. She was wearing these pink footie pajamas and had a pony tail and was drinking from a baby bottle and looked just precious...like a sweet angel. I said to Mattie this week while flipping through Pinterest crap, that's what's the hardest, to see the little things people do with their kid and know that it won't be you. Dress them up, read to them, help them with whatever, get ready for the holidays...all those sweet sweet things. Jill's little girl would smile and then run to Jill and cling to her leg..it was just precious really and just sweet. That's what I'll miss if I never have a child, the sweetness of the every day crap.

So onward we go, trudging through this life. Next week I have to fly to see my relatives and do the whole confirmation thing. Not looking forward to it really...just want to be home and I haven't even left yet. Been checking to see if my fertility doctor gave birth...is that some sick shit or what...I don't know who's sicker..me or the fates that when I'm trying to conceive this doctor ends up getting pregnant..that is so my life right there.

Anyhow, that's it for now. I have a ton of other shit going on in my life but alas my hands have taken a beating this week...so I'll say goodbye for now.