Haven't written as I didn't want to face myself I suppose. I haven't been able to stay "abstinent" for the past 4 days thought I start each day with the best or at least good, intentions. I get to my mom's and it's been all balls to the wall. I'm hoping that I can jump back on tomorrow but don't feel optimistic. I've been under this demons spell for so long. Don't know what to do about it any more.
Just a little blurb here as my Doctor called me on Friday to tell me she looked at my scans, and it's not that my fallopian is closed, so much as that a fibroid outside of my uterus is pressing against it and blocking it. She wants to proceed as planned feeling that my uterus is clean and able to carry a child and she will put me on clomid to up my egg production so that my chances are increased. I'm hoping that it works and doesn't take forever...not so much worried about the trying but somewhat concerned about the financial. I have savings but don't want to spend it all on sperm as that's my nest egg for my maternity leave. I'm hoping that if and when a baby comes I can take at least 6 months off (unpaid) leave. I've accumulated about 3 months of time off not including the 1 1/2 week of reserve time I have put aside that I don't want to tap. We'll see how it goes. In a year (to nine months) I should have another month and a half of time to take off hopefully but want to have at least 3 months salary put away just in case I don't have the time I can at least coast a while.
Anyhow that's my story. Not too great. Hate the food thing..it's the one thing in my life I feel I'm unable to really get a grip of.
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