Doctor B, Medicine woman

Went to see my doctor today and had a total meltdown..so much so that I left through the back entrance that I didn't even know existed. My doctor is so friggin nice that I broke down as soon as I saw her as I knew I wasn't pregnant, I just knew it. I know my body like no other. I knew that I had cancer when my doctor said I didn't, that's how well I know my body and some other time I'll tell you the crazy story of how I shocked one of the doctor's with my prediction. Anyway, this isn't a prediction, this was 5 pregnancy tests taken in succession. I know everyone says it was too early and it was but really I kind of had a feeling. Any time I thought it might be positive I felt like it might be fake positive...trying to psyche myself out but enough with my rant. My doctor called me at 3 to tell me the news and she sounded just as sad as I felt. I cried for a minute but really, I'd grieved it already so I think that was the last bit of it. She asked me what I wanted to do and I told her try again. She said next time, we'll change the protocol a bit to see if it's any better. A doll I tell you..so sweet that I consider it my little gift from God that that's who I ended up with. Lexi called to tell me she didn't pass her exam to be able to keep her job or rather her score was not high enough. That is also too sad...too sad for her and too sad for me -that a friend at work is leaving as I find myself with so few of them there. Took Tess for a walk, had an early dinner of oatmeal and am going to treat myself to a much deserved pot of coffee and maybe later a puff of a cigarette...just a puff..maybe.

P.s. if anyone ever needs a doctor in the NJ/NY area I will gladly share who I'm using.