In the name of the Father, the Son, and the.. holy doctor?

Went to work today and faced my usual barrage of crisis..left early for a doctor's appointment where some guy proceeds to have a half hour long conversation, as loud as you please, on his ear phone thing and when I look over he says to me.."I'm just as loud as the tv so I don't know why you're looking"..Oh yeah mo fo..I look like I'm shy and won't talk back..well..I proceed to tell him with my hand up as when in the ghetto do as the ghetto-ese or what have you.."I don't think so!..don't even start with me brother" ....thinking..because I'll get down and ghetto with you in two minutes...he shuts up.. with his conversation with me anyway. So I finally after an hour and fifteen minute wait, ...and yes, I need a new fucking doctor,.. I go in..Now I scheduled with a doctor who is not my usual doctor..why? Because my doctor will have you wait close to two hours and look at you strange if you complain so here goes with the ol' lady doctor eating a cinnabon with rosary beads around her neck and a lanyard thingy that says something about Jesus..I tell her why I'm there..need my levels, vitamin b12, vitamin D script..anemia blah blah..getting IVF.. and what does she say? "Are you Christian? God would not like what you're doing".. She proceeds to give me a lecture about religion, about God, my sins..et cetera.. Holy crap! I'm thinking. I look around. Surely there is a camera hidden somewhere with some fool waiting to jump out at me. You fucking kidding me lady? I go through my whole Catholic credentials (hello 12 years in parachiol! duh)...and finally after what seems like an eternity I get a script, a refusal to vitamin b12 inject me..frick you lady!..and a script for more blood work.. Whatever. Listen as far as I know, me and God..we're straight. I pray, I try to be a good person and harm no one with my words or deeds, and I think me and Him..we're cool. That's as far as I go. I don't need a little Filipino lady eating a cinnabon while she's attending to me giving me a God lecture..you and I lady..we're equals here with God. You help people all day and so do I..have done it my whole life and to those people I've hurt believe me I've paid in guilt as I can't remember a time where I hurt someone intentionally and if I did I definitely paid for it in guilt..so you got it lady..I've got guilt therefore I'm a good Catholic! as good as I'll ever be I imagine. This is the same lady that last time I saw her for a b-12 hurt me so bad with the injection that for weeks afterwards I had to have all injections given in my right arm and this during a time I was getting daily b-12's...swear she did this shit on purpose!) I'm mad that I even explained myself to this chick,and am now feeling stressed and defensive, and mad that after all that time in that frigging office, I walk out with not much help than what I walked in with..really just one vitamin script and more blood work! Shit. And for whatever reason, when I get out in the parking lot of the office (which is in a shit part of town and smells like garbage, mind you) I want to cry. I want to cry because this month..this month that I wanted to be "my month" has been too hard..has just been too hard and sometimes I just can't..just can't be strong..can't put up with the bull shit of life and the people in it. I forgot to mention that "D" called me while I'm in with the doctor to tell me they won't let "D" get work because "D" is hearing voices and "D" so upset says to me, but Gem, I'm not hearing voices, and I try to calm "D" down and yesterday as I'm walking into acupuncture I get a call from "D's" psychiatrist regarding a note from the program and what to do about it and you know what..I'm one fucking person and my one sibling, who last week was so "..you don't have to do this alone Gem.." doesn't return any of my texts regarding "D" and the other sibling replies by saying "ugh, weird" after I text them all the shit happening..so what the fuck am I suppose to do but cry just a little man because really sometimes it's just too much. It's just too much and I'm just too alone and I can't get peace for just a second to make one of my dreams come true... So yes, I think me and God ...we're straight because Lord knows, and I mean Lord knows literally,..I've had my share and I've tried to keep my chin up and roll with the punches and keep the faith and all of that but I've had my share and I'm still grateful because I know there are others who've had more so I thank God and I know He knows I'm grateful...I'm grateful for this life and grateful for the strength to keep on keeping on...for the ability to help "D" even if I unintentionally fuck it up for "D" or get angry or sit on the pity pot about it..I'm grateful for my job with a boss who is more than an asshole, working with coworkers who are emotionally warped,and egomaniacal assholes, I'm grateful..I just want my baby..just one little gift (btw the doctor reminded me..like I need to be reminded..that "babies are gifts and if I didn't get one..."..oh yes, she went there..)..so I cried a little and am crying a little sitting on the pity pot because I've had enough but thank God that I can take it. Amen.