Catching up

I almost forgot to write as I've been writing so much to the chicks I met at the clinic. Well, still no period. No sign of hide or hair of it. I finally called the chick at the clinic yesterday who said she'd email the doctor and ask her how she wants to proceed. I found the donor I want to use though I haven't purchased any vials and I'm not sure what the frick I'm waiting for as he'll probably be sold out by the time I get to it. I'm finally rolling with all of this making the calls I needed to make. I'm full of anxiety. Full of it. Chock full! Can't seem to get away from it but for small bits of time.

I'm avoiding my family today as they're driving me crazy but I promised D I would go over. Did I mention D had to have oral surgery. Older sibling kept saying don't call the dentist as I'm calling today...this went on forever and I finally called them....they never called me back BTW which makes me angry but doesn't surprise me. Nothing does anymore when using "the system" for the disabled. It's a racket and if you had to use it, and I'm sure I've said this before, you wouldn't believe you live in the U.S. I live in friggin NY people!! It's not even like I live in Osh Kosh USA.. Whateva! Anyhow, my mother took D to her dentist who is ancient and he had D go to a surgeon. D is better but it was beyond..just beyond..an unnecessary stressor.

Shit at work is what it is. I confronted the one friend of the group that went and reported me...what a wuss. She says, Gem, I have to work with these people. I asked how she thought it would affect our friendship...humina humina humina...puhlease... I don't care anymore. I'm not even angry either I'm just disgusted and realize I have to move on knowing I did nothing wrong here. I work in a fucked up environment but the pay is good so I'll shut the fuck up and be grateful...just wait it out and see what the future holds.

My father continues to not be well. Has a terribel wound on his leg...not good. I worry. The sibs have not been visiting during the week as far as I can tell. One of the care ladies said she called younger sibs for adult diapers Thursday morning so when I showed up Thursday night with NADA! she looked at me like where are they...did you get the call? No? Well neither did I. This is how they roll. Infuriating. So late at night there go me and Tess driving back towards my home to get the diapers and drive all the way back. Whatever..really it's frustrating.

Anyhow..that's the long and the short..will let you know what happens Wednesday at the psych eval for people using donor sperm...too funny...you think I need a shrink for donor sperm? I need a shrink for a million other reason!. ..