Smoking, joking, and other things that aren't so funny

I smoked a cigarette today...well..took 3 drags from a cigarette I should say and of course now I want to smoke. That's how it works..duh to me. Anyhow, went to my mother's and actually had a good time with my siblings..made one of them (who rarely ever really laughs) choke they laughed so hard giving my mother, who insists we are stealing all of her stuff, a hard time. She is accusing us of having stolen a huge bible she had, a bed spread, and a black and white flowered jacked that she later found in one of her 4 closets..she's a clothes mongrel. Yes mom, we stole your bible..as if..that's like a one way ticket to hell. Anyhow, we died laughing about it. Talked to Kay and Diana today...spoke to Diana to just let her know I'm okay as I think I scared her a bit yesterday as I was a mess. Anyhow, feeling better today and just trying to keep the faith that this is all gonna happen for me. And though I don't really believe this, I'm trying to tell myself that I believe this. Honestly can't picture this happening for me. Wish I was rich and then I'd just try and try and try. I logged onto Cryobank to see if my guy had any stuff available and it looks like he'd submitted another batch and there is little if anything left. Gonna try and remember to call tomorrow and also call the pharmacy to refill meds as well as remember to have someone gas up a work car to take to East Jabib on Tuesday..did I mention I have to go to East Jabib on Tuesday? Really it's upstate New York and one of the other heads asked if I was taking a company car could she tag along..I explained I'm taking my truck..then changed my mind when I remembered my tranny is going and the ride is 3 hours round trip so I'm going with her. The goal is not to disclose too much as I tend to be chatty and social even when I don't want to be...annoy the hell out of myself as I tend to say too much. So that's that. Refill meds, gas for the car, and order sperm..weird how that's not so weird anymore. So getting ready for Monday and hoping that the week flies by. Have another meeting with a big wig from another agency along with an attorney over that incident that I had to deal with the other night..I don't think I mentioned it here. Anyhow, it all makes for a lovely month of stress that I'm hoping just cools off and turns to nothing. I want to call the accupuncturist and see if they take my insurance..hoping the answer is yes though I'm not sure if that would kick into my $50K fertility cap with the insurance. Money really does make the world go round. I so wish I hadn't bought this condo as it swallows all my money and if I was in a modest apartment I'd had a lot more to play with ...Gonna see if maybe I unload this shit this year...time will tell what the future holds..don't care what that is just hope it's a baby too...just saying.