Enough really

When I was seeing the acupuncturist, she told me about her fight with infertility and about her son who was born via donor egg. She mentioned that when she was having difficulty conceiving she had this thing where she hated Meryl Streep who was pregnant and pushing out babies with some sort of ease...any ol' way whether this was true or just her perception I find myself struggling to get through the day with all these mind fields of baby shit surrounding me. I'm just so fucking tired, and I mean fucking tired of all the fucking baby shit, baby commercials, people announcing pregnancies, announcing births, documenting milestones on fucking facebook, baby showers, baby fucking christenings, pregnant people, actual babies (who in truth I love to see any ol' way..can't help it really)....but really, I've had enough. On top of that shit I just received a text message from a cousine in Puerto Rico whose daughter wants me to be her Godmother for confirmation....4 offer to be a Godmother this month and people, I have a Godchild...haven't seen him in years and only send him checks every holiday out of guilt = I'm not a good Godparent...I just feel awkward about the whole thing..don't ask me why. In general, I'm just sick of all this shit...just want to have my own child already or adopt a baby... I'm just so tired of all these reminders of babies everywhere...and if I ever do have one...I'm not going to post that shit everywhere...just in consideration of those still trying. Anyhow, I'm tired already so I'm off...just wanted to get that off my chest.