$$?........$#%&*

I left work early today to go drop off the films at Dr. B's office. I had initially intended to mail them but was scared they'd get lost and the thought of repeating that shit is enough to make me cry. I was able to get some information today on the loan process to borrow against my pension and my coworker explained I can borrow up to 10k without gettting taxed from the pension program but I can also borrow from this other retirement account I had started when I first got the job that I completely forgot about. The money comes directly out of my check so I forget that it's being taken out. I'm getting anxious about the money thing mostly because my car is acting all rickety and really, I should be thinking about replacing it as it is 10 years old and I've driven it hard but alas that's not in the financial cards so I'm going to have to make do. I'm scared and anxious right now about the future I guess cause it feels like everything is up in the air. I'm curious as to what Dr. B thinks of the films as it shows that the tube that was badly blocked is now clear though I don't think at this point it makes much of a difference. So, any ol' how, I'm just trying to get to the weekend and to chill out. I've been restless in a weird way. I also have started to work on my weight issue again. I made a decision to start even though they tell you don't start a diet when you're trying to get pregnant but at this point I don't know if "they" know what the fuck they're talking about any way.