Gemma the Grouch

I am feeling overly hostile tonight and just wanted to get it off my chest. I'm just aggravated and annoyed at everything and I guess it's just anger at the fates and really, it's nobody's fault. Tonight I got emails from my sibling about mother's day plans. They want to go to dinner some 45 minutes away when really I don't even want to go anywhere...I want to stay home in bed and just say FUK YOU WORLd!!!! I don't want to go to some hoity toity place where I have to dress up to hang out with a bunch of people where I don't belong. I just don't want to go and especially not 45 minutes away which means driving in the car for all that time back and forth with these people...we never get along...get annoyed with each other and some poor asshole, too often it's me, gets stuck with a bill for several hundred dollars and never sees a dime from someone else. I'd suggested a local middle of the road place but no....and then I look like an asshole as I'm the party pooper. And you know what? I am. I'm going through something people..whether you choose to acknowledge it or not I'm going through something so just leave me the fuck alone..I don't care about mother's day. I don't. I love my mother but mostly she aggravates the fuck out of me, my siblings act even more assholic around her than usual as she annoys the fuck out of them too and we all end up miserable together so what's the fucking point of all this bullshit? I just want to crawl into my bed and you can come get me at the end of the year and see if I'm ready to come out...right now I'm not...right now I'm ready to just turn my brain off, my body off, put poor Tess in a kennel and just sleep for a year....just emotionally shut myself down until I can cope. Hate this feeling. Hate feeling so hopeless about this situation and truthfully, I don't know, I may be throwing a tantrum for nothing but I can't seem to help myself. I'm just tired folks. Just so friggin tired man. Gotta take some time off from work and chill out...regroup or what have you.