Family

Yesterday I spent the day with my fairy Godmother. My Godmother is one of those people who doesn't edit and doesn't edit in a loud voice. She will bring up the fact that my sister, who mistakenly felt she could share this information with her, had an abortion when she was 19 years old. Any time I spent time with her she says, so and so had an abortion, remember? I don't think that's something that anybody forgets. She also anounced during her grandson's baby shower (the fact that I had to go wasn't enough) that I'm using donor sperm and getting inseminated. Luckily nobody in the room was English speaking and I quickly told her this was private...not that I think this really makes a difference to her. Yesterday she says, so did you get inseminated? We were in the car but still, this isn't something you just blurt out. She also told me her, her son, and his wife were talking about me and how they couldn't understand why I couldn't find a man as I had such a pretty face. My usual come back for when married people say this is "why would I want to find a man and be married, so I can be as happy as you"...I don't know any happily married people. Anyhow I didn't say this, I just said, I don't want a man right now which is true, I don't. Later after this baby ordeal is resolved maybe I'll look for someone when a few years have passed. She asked me if I was pregnant and sometimes, even though I love these people and have respect for the fact that they're old and crotchedy, I still want to punch them in the nose. Have some sensitivity people. She proceeds to tell me maybe it's not God's plan for me....yes, maybe it's not but maybe it is and I tell her how I wouldn't be happy otherwise. She says that against her feelings she will pray that it happens for me (she was a nun for over 25 years..'nough said). I change the topic...a million times yesterday I change the topic and I practically kick her with my shoe out of the car in the drowning rain. I pick up her million pound dog from the back of the car and all her bags and quickly deposit them in her living room as my shirt, hair and jeans are drenched and my mascara runs down my cheeks...I don't care, I just want her out. Tess and I drive home wet as all hell but finally blissfully alone after spending about 5 hours with her getting her dog and my Tess groomed. Today we go to my uncle's for a barbecue. I always go when he invites us as it's the only family gathering that is actually enjoyable and I think this is mostly due to the fact that both he and his wife push drinks on everyone all day long and everyone ends up buzzed and happy..me included. I get there and am served cheap wine with ice in a paper cup and promptly proceed to get drunk. I'm a wine drinker and no, it's usually not with ice or in a paper cup but for whatever reason, whenever I go there, I drink it the way they want to serve me and enjoy it...I go with D ahead of the other sibs who are also going and meet my mother and our old neighbor who are already there. Our old neighbor is like family and  she's known all of us our whole lives. She had 4 children herself, 3 girls and a boy and the girls all died young from different illnesses and the boy was the only one who survived. This lady is like a Saint though she is nowhere nears a bright woman, she is an absolutely kind woman and D refers to her as Grandma and always has as she's known D since they dropped D off from the foster agency. Anyhow, she's not well these days and I think she is soon going to die. I just have that feeling. I love her to death and when I lived at home she would come over every week and clean my room for me, empty my ashtrays, and the like and I could always count on her to help me in a way I couldn't with my mother. I sat next to her and she explained she wasn't feeling well but had a doctor's appointment next month...I tell her to call the doctor tomorrow...I know she's not well. She asks me if I have any luck with the baby situation and I explain that I don't. She tells me, well, if it's meant to be it'll happen. And this makes me feel better. I always feel like she has a direct connection to God..have you ever met that kind of person? Too good for this earth? This is her. I remember her cooking one day in my mother's kitchen and her saying that the pot would not boil and she finally says, wait, I'll fix it...she takes the spoon and taps the pot in the sign of the cross and doesn't that mother boil. My sister and I couldn't believe it and she continued on as if this was perfectly normal. She's special and although I don't spend as much time with her as I used to, I'll miss her when she's gone. On the other side of me sat my cousin's girlfriend. My cousin, who is 40 mind you, has been dating this girl over 10 years but never proposed. She says she doesn't want to marry either but tonight when she was ribbed with this as usual she says it but it lacks conviction and I, in my ghetto wine stupor, say to her listen, if nothing else, have your babies, whatever you have to do have your babies. I whisper this as my sibs are across from me and my sister says to her, don't listen to whatever she's saying, she's drunk. I tell her, I may be drunk but I'm telling her the truth and she says next year and I make her promise me this is true and I tell her I'm going to check on her. She's 35..next year is a good time though this year is better. I tell her, your eggs grow old and those hollywood ladies are using somebody else's so don't think that doctors have a magic wand. She says she knows...we'll see. I had a nice time with her and my cousin, her boyfriend who is the only cousin geographically close to us and one of the only cousins we grew up with. It was real nice. It felt like we really had family. My cousin agreed that it was hard not to have family here in the U.S.. and it really is. It's why neighbors and Godmothers become family members because there's nobody else around.
The night ended with a trip to facebook to see what is up and one of the girls from high school who was pregnant had her baby. A little girl and may God bless. As usual it hurt only a little but the pain is long lasting. C'est la vie.