My life has been unbelievably crazy lately and the anxiety has been back full force. Today, after visiting my doctor and visiting my fairy Godmother in the nursing home, I came home exhausted with the thoughts of all that is going on in my life floating in my head. Feeling guilt over not visiting my father today, knowing none of the children have today, feeling bad about my Godmother, about having left Tess alone too long, and mostly obsessing about the bitch at work who acted super obnoxious during a meeting today. So I'm laying on the couch with my heart palpitating out of my chest and finally, out of fear of having a heart attack, I thankfully remembered that I had a pill of valium that Dr. B had given me to take when I was having an implanting of embryo. I ended up not being able to take it as I didn't have a ride so had to do it sans drugs. I'm not a drug person so I split the shit in half and down the hatch it went. Jumped on here right after so hopefully it does the trick. I'm just tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally tired. I find myself crying at the drop of a hat and I know this is in part due to my impending period... ugh.
My doctor subtley brought up the topic of weight loss. Two doctors in a two week period. Not sure how to go about doing this really. Just feeling a bit lost.
Time will tell but had the thought this morning that I must take action in order to make change in my life. Gotta get my shit together to get my life in gear. I pray I can do it.
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