A Donor

I just want to shoot out a real quick post and although I'm not regularly posting anymore, I hope to and this is also something big..... They found a donor. On this week of all weeks where I felt the sadness and agony coming back after my sister's crap this past weekend, I got a call yesterday from the clinic. As soon as I saw the area code I knew..I knew something was coming. They told me she is Puerto Rican (I'm mixed and  half PRican),ca-ca-curly hair! which they had told me was extremely difficult to find (woot woot), on the Dean's list in Grad school, and beautiful. She's 30 which is older than they prefer but they told me her levels were excellent. They are waiting for the last of her tests to come back and for my Dr., who they explained is super picky, to look at her herself. I wanted to cry and scream because even though this isn't 100 % certain, it's hope and I haven't had that, at least a strong feeling of that in a while. After the call I went into Kay's office and we screamed and hugged like fools who'd won the lotto. I feel like God and my dad, and everyone else who is out there and up there looking down, is just giving me a break and telling me to hold on. Am I scared shitless? Yes, yes I am. For a million different reasons I'm scared but I'm also very thankful to have the opportunity to try.

I'm going to my OA meeting this morning and though I feel very comforted by this Saturday morning group, I don't think I'm going to share this with anyone. I shared it with Kay and I think I'm good with just that.