Sensitive?

So I went to work today and it was better than yesterday. I think this was due in part to having discussed what was going on with my therapist, who by the way, I only have one session left with and it's over. Today I called some new chick to try to set something up but no phone call yet..hope she calls as I don't really want to spend too much time without one. I know it sounds really codependant and maybe I am, but I feel too fragile at this time in my life and feel like I need the support..whatever..sometimes I think I'm crazy but the shrink tells me I'm sane so...that sentence I think says way too much. Anyhow, I hope she calls me and I hope she's not a loon. Did I tell you about the therapist who spoke in the fake baby voice? No? Well,needless to say I got out of that quick but not unscathed as she freaked me out.. holy shit anyone can get their license. I have mine btw, my license to practice therapy..but I don't practice. I figure I do enough emotional damage to myself, why subject others to my madness. At one point, after the art, that was my dream, to do therapy, and I worked for a long time with the mentally ill, for years and years, and loved it. But I think everyone needs to realize their limitations, and for me, I was beyond burned out...and now, I'm not emotionally strong enough to take on a caseload of people depending on me. I've got just enough strength for me, my baby, and those friends and family who need me, and there'll be none left over after my baby as I'm going to give that baby everything I got in me. All the love and support a child could want or need...not spoiled but I want her to really feel like I've got her back..not wonder if I'm there..know I am..that's my plan so being a therapist is out for me, though there was a time I loved that...loved doing sessions with people who were run of the mill like me, or with the severely mentally ill..very fulfilling and humbling so much so I can't even describe how great it was....but I digress...

I was feeling upset tonight (what else is new) over a comment someone made on facebook. A friend of mine asked if anyone new if the planet of the apes movie was any good and someone replied "the Obama documentary"? The guy who asked about the movie is a good person so I didn't want to start shit with his friend so I replied "wow :(" and thankfully my friend removed the post. I felt bad but I couldn't just ignore it so that was my gentlest way of showing disapproval. It never ceases to amaze me that people actually have the balls to write shit like that. I mean, what kind of fucking idiot writes that? You gotta be a real asshole and then I think Gem, you're being overly sensitive. And I know I'm extremely sensitive to things..not only emotional things for me, but for others as well. My therapist calls it hyper-sensitive..that's what I am...not only am I hurt easily, I will get just as upset if someone else gets hurt, or there is a possibility that someone else got hurt, and for whatever reason I am very in tune to other's emotions..to a point where it's not good for me...at times believe it or not, I feel it physically..it's a physical pain though I'll leave it at that as an explanation. So I was pissed when I read that comment and was going to write a nasty comment regarding the State this dude lives in because most people in the Northeast would never think of saying that kind of shit outloud..they may think it, but say it? Unless you want your ass in a sling..no. That my friends is an example of how everyone is prejudice...he makes a racist statement and I come back with a prejudice one? not good...and though I didn't make a comment about his State..I thought it!..alas, I am far from perfect and this I know for sure. It's been a hard week so I have to keep this in mind and try to keep things in perspective. I also think adding to the sensitivity this month is the fact that I didn't get pregnant and am not able to try this month and couple this with the loss of my therapist and teh b.s. at work and presto change-o you got a super sensitive Gem.

Anyhow, tomorrow I take Tess back to the vet to see how she is. She seems better though not 100%. Love that dog.