Not my Funday..

I don't know what it is about Sundays...for me they're never good..then again I think I'm starting to become a pessimist or maybe it's all the hormones. It seems like I'm super-sensitive lately...just spinning myself into a small bout of the blues. Today I dyed my hair and hung out with Tess. Texted my sister to see if she wanted me to pick something up on the way to my mother's. She tells me they're leaving as my other sibling was called into work. That's the shit with those two..when they're together nobody gives a shit about me but if one of them doesn't come down my phone doesn't stop..it really hurts my feelings. I went out with them yesterday and of course nobody asked about how my trying is going. I'd like to say I don't care but that's not true in any way shape or form. Just wish they gave a shit..really gave a shit..not just when they need me or when the other isn't around. I went to my mother's anyway and I shouldn't have. She was as usual, trying to get me to do what she wants me to do and having a fit when I wouldn't bend, though she tried all her tricks a total of 3, count them, 3, times...lady is a trip. Needless to say I stayed for less than an hour..feeling shitty about myself...feeling shitty about "D"...just feeling shitty. So Tess and I are back home and she's here next to me sleeping while I stew in my guilt and feel sorry for myself.. I did have a nice talk with Diana last night and even though it was only a half hour it always makes me feel like I'm not alone in the world and that someone else speaks the same language as me...I didn't even talk as it was mostly her shit with her husband but all the same, it made me feel less alone. I don't know..don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. I get my procedure done Tuesday..hope it doesn't hurt too much and start the new shrinky dink Thursday and hope she's not a total waste..I'm looking for someone who is sharp but not too bossy and not hell bent on her opinion being the only way. I'm not (for the most part) crazy...just somewhat tormented by too much shit. We'll see.