Baby Making

I feel like I haven't written in quite some time though in reality, it's been about a week. I was inseminated on Tuesday,a surprise as the Dr. had initially stated that it would be Wednesday, but my levels were rapidly increasing so Tuesday it was and then again on Wednesday. I am very hopeful this time around as I had 4, count them 4, follicles. Last week the Dr. thought there were only 3 but lo and behold.. She was psyched as well, so I'm crossing my fingers, am excited, and trying not to imagine a million pregnancy symptoms. I feel fine except that I have (embarrassingly enough) terrible gas pain for the past 3 days. If I tell you that I never get gas, I never get gas but I'm trying not to think about it or over diagnose and yes I googled it and got my hopes up as apparently it is an early sign of pregnancy but still it could also be an early sign of eating too much broccolli.. I'm excited and scared all rolled into one.

I started seeing the new therapist this past week...not thrilled by her but she'll do in a pinch but I think eventually I'll have to switch her out. She's one of these old school tell me about your past type therapists and listen, it's all fine and good, and yes, my childhood was probably not the norm, but it's done and I'm okay with it...but she insists we go over it and tries to match up present feelings with shit from the past..fine, fine..but at the first sign of crazy, I'm out! People ask me all the time, Gem, why don't you hang a shingle? I think about it all the time and at one point I would have loved it..but the reality is that when you're a therapist (or that type of thing) you need to recognize when you yourself aren't healthy enough to work and I think too few people aren't healthy enough. Me? I'm not strong enough right now to take on a caseload of 15-20 people's issues..I can only, and that's barely, deal with mine..so no, no shingle..the world has enough crazy people practicing mental health care. So onward I go, in a field that doesn't require you to be anything in particular..just on your toes and ready to cover your ass in a minute.

Anyhow, I just wanted to catch up, and update this little adventure I'm on. My family is still not keen with this whole thing and the only person who talks to me about it with any genuine interest is my younger sibling..fine, fine..not really but it'll have to do for now..