Cry Baby

Woke up feeling super sensitive today; on the verge of tears really and had to run to the RE before work so was up by 5:30 and out the door at about 6:30. Once again it was couples day at the RE and again it hurt to watch. Had to exert supreme effort not to cry and the stab in the heart came when a couple showed up with the chicks mom...a thing I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams my mother doing other than when she had to when I was a child too young to go alone. I love my mother but there are so many times I wish she was just a little more motherly and a little less her needing to be mothered. She grew up an orphan and that in a nutshell explains it all. We get who we get and I appreciate many of the things she taught me, the things she felt it was important to learn; manners, how to dress, to guard your credit like it's your life, and keep a clean house. My RE appeared genuinely disappointed that it didn't take and told me not to worry, that it was really the first real chance I had and she wanted to increase my dose of follistim to increase my chances. She's adorable..just the sweetest thing and I thank God that that's who I ended up with, a real gift to me who is so embarrassed and humiliated to show my body but this chick..she makes it seem like who cares..love her. So she checks me out, says she sees what looks like another 5 follicles; 4 small and one large..is somewhat concerned but explains that it's either residual from last time and not yet discarded by my body, or my hormones are off and we have to skip a month. Either way is fine as truthfully, I'm exhausted emotionally. She calls later to say my hormones are fine and onward with the injections;375 iu of follistim. Ugh. So that in a nut shell was my day. Had one upset with the boss but really just trivial and crazy amounts of people to manage this morning ..typical Monday.

So all-in-all, okay if exhausting, day. Thankful in a million little and big ways. Hoping October is my month. No Gemini baby(ies) for me..whew!