Forward

So I'm not sure if I mentioned I bought four more vials of man puke. Today I see the telltale signs of my period coming on along which means I go in Tuesday for that pelvic penis procedure. They're closed Monday for the holiday, I checked. Anyhow, for whatever reason, self protection, or what have you, I'm not as excited as I was the first month around. I keep thinking getting pregnant seems so far fetched. I felt my ovaries give a lunge yesterday when the cutest little boy came in with his mom. She let me carry him and he was delicious. Little caramel colored boy with a big ol' fro smelled like cocoa butter..so cuddly..yeah my ovaries lurched, lunged, and twitched. So I'm trying to just stay positive. I did something else, aside from buying that maternity shirt a few months back, I bought a baby carrier on ebay. It's one of those carriers you wear on the front..got a good deal in my size and I just decided to indulge myself at the cost of $16 I thought it was worth the little treat..even if I never get to wear it..who cares. I keep praying for God's help...for a healthy baby with a p.s. of healthy girl please..lol..I'd love a boy too but..

Anyhow, I called the first therapist I went to see to ask for asecond session and she has yet to call me back. Hmmm...sign that maybe this chick isn't the one. Two days is more than the average for a therapist..they usually call you back the same day..gonna try and check another one out next week. See, this is the shit I hate about trying to find one...half of them are nut jobs themselves..Ugh!! but I need the support or would like the support..especially going through this thing. I guess we'll see what happens.

I'm going to a barbecue/picnic at my Godmom's tomorrow night..I love her to pieces as I mentioned before..she's just so good to me. I asked her if she wanted me to bring anything and she told me to bring coffee creamers..I knew she would ask me to bring them..lol.. She says with her heavy Bronx accent, "Well, I guess you could bring some of those creamers like last time..". I picked them up tonight on my way home from my mom's and will bring something else..alcoholic from my cabinet..most likely as I have tons of booze her that I've gotten as gifts..no way I'd ever get to all of it and she likes to have her cocktails. So that's my plan for this weekend...that and I was hoping to head back to WW (weight watchers) sometime too. I need to move on this shit and stop procrastinating. The goal now is to eat healthy rather than lose. I don't want probs for my baby because I'm a junk food addict who can't control herself....Anyway, I babble..

Not looking forward to the period penis pap but alas it's the price we pay for babies made solo.