Hormonal Babbling

So, I got my period this morning which I was expecting. Glad it comes every month, cramps and all as it means there is hope. Along with it comes the PMS that for whatever reason seems to be lasting through the first day of this cycle. I just feel shitty..lonely..alone really and I am though I'm supposed to be leaving for a picnic at my Godmom's..I don't want to go. Isn't that silly? I feel alone but don't want to go to a picnic to be with people? But I'm sure you know what I mean..that's not the company I want..looking for a more intimate type of companionship right now..Not sexual, just a friend really. My friends are all emotionally fucked right now. Did I tell you Ollie broke up with his partner? No. Well he did. He's moving back to Florida which I think is better for him anyway as that's where his family is. I'm not sure if I wrote about that here.. a big disappointment really as the plan was for him to move here to N.Y. and help when the kid(s)came (his idea not mine) but alas it's not to be and really he needs to be with his family where he has the most support. He has a house there too so he'll be okay. He had cancer a few years back too but his kicked his ass back and forth and left and right..that shit wasn't playing with him...he got a good ass whooping from that mean ol' cancer..everyone usually does but his was unusually brutal. He's also positive.....don't think I mentioned that.. so his immune system is beyond compromised..yeah, he needs to be with his family. But as usual I digress, so he's in his shit right now and I try to be there, Diana is dealing with the 2 boys alone while the hubby is in jail situation (which still sounds so beyond unbelievable it's not even funny..jail??? come'on), and Kay is dealing with the legal repercussions of her son the pothead and her other son who is a veteran and dealing with PTSD, and on top of that last night she learned he is drinking heavily and told her he thinks he has a problem...right before she's heading off for visit with her parents one of whom has alzheimers...love them all but needless to say, I can't go to them with my trivial shit while their fighting for their own sanity. So I came here. Truth be told I'd use this more but as I've mentioned my hands can't take the typing but I do what I can. Anyhow, off to the picnic..alone!! to be with people I don't want to be with except for my Godmom who I love. Gotta bring those creamers!